Ms. Politically Correct
Brittany: Yeah, we're so excited. Robert and I are moving to West Virginia!
Katie: Oh, that's great. So when you have kids they can marry each other!
Oh. There I am. →
At least until the next blog post gets put up. In the meantime, feel free to listen to me yap on the radio tomorrow as he suggests. I’m not promising any deep thoughts, but there’s plenty of my token awkwardness, so that’s nice. Oh, and also, I have Twitter now. Don’t judge me. It’s for professional reasons. But, if you’re a twitterer (is that a word?)...
The other night as I was leaving work I gave my brother a call to ask him about the complex workings of the minds of the male gender. When I called, I interupted him doing some on a case for law school that he said had something to do with the 14th amendment. We chatted about it briefly, both saying we couldn’t recall exactly what that amendment was, but that we thought it might have...
I love iGoogle. Seriously. It’s an amazing invention. My absolute favorite part of though is easily the “How to of the Day” section that pops up on mine. It is always the most ridiculous stuff and somehow it always tempts me to click over. I mean, obviously I need to know “How to Swim with Sharks” and “How to Throw a Super Bowl Commerical Watching...
Where am I going to find $150,000? →
Obviously Rosie is going to live forever. But, on the off chance I need a plan B, this isn’t such a bad idea.
Jenn: Rats. Homicides. What is it going to take to get you to move? A flock of locusts?
Man versus Wild
Tonight around 9:30 I arrived home from my church community group and decided it was time to investigate the damage done by the rat mentioned in the previous entry. I knew that it had done some serious gnawing on the paper towels beneath my sink, but I decided to clear out everything else under the sink to see what else he’d been up to. As it turns out, a lot. Mostly he’s just been...
My first thought upon discovering that some sort of rodent was living in my house was to call my parents. Not because I consider them authorities on rat removal or really need their help in that department. But because having a rogue rodent in my house is precisely the kind of thing they like to talk about. So, when I saw the gnawed through paper towels on Saturday morning, I immediately called them. We didn't actually connect though until last night. The conversation went something like this:
Me: I've got a rat living in my house.
My Mom: Oh no. Do you want to move home?
Me: I don't think that's going to be necessary. I'm thinking a simple trapping device will suffice.
My Mom: Maybe you should call an exterminator.
Me: I think I can take care of this myself.
My Mom: Do you want to borrow Boots [my parents dachshund and notorious small animal killer] for a few days? I'm sure she could take it down.
(It's worth noting here that Boots is 16, deaf, and blind. However, my mom is right. She could take it down.)
Me: That's ok. Seriously, I'm thinking I'll just get a few of those sticky sheets and trap it that way.
My Mom: Has Rosie noticed it?
Me: Not that's she's mentioned. However, Rosie's so lazy these days I half expect to see her and the rat chilling out together in the kitchen one afternoon.
My Mom: Where do you think it's getting in? Maybe through the sink? Or maybe through the dryer vent?
Me: If it's getting in through the vent that means it has to walk across the kitchen and then open the cabinet door to get to the paper towels. That rat would have to be the size of a hedgehog.
My Mom: You never know. Are you sure you don't want to move home?
Fashion Shoot Footage →
This is my first video that doesn’t have something to do with my dachshund. Now, obviously the stars of this video are not nearly as cute and precious as Rosie, but, well, I did some fading, music, and sticking a bunch of clips together, which took me a zillion years so I’m pretty excited about the final product.
I hate Sunday nights. I hate them almost as much as I love Friday afternoons. Seriously, every weekend feels like a little kid at Christmas for me. Friday afternoons are Christmas Eve when you just know Santa has something awesome in store for you and Sunday nights are Christmas night when you are coming to terms with the fact that this magical experience won’t return for another year—or,...
Mi dia favorito es el viernes.
That’s right. I speak Spanish. Actually, that’s a lie. But, I do have a “Learn a Spanish phrase a day” calendar next to my desk so hopefully by December 31st of 2009 I’ll know all kinds of crazy Spanish phrases. I love how they’re so applicable too. I mean, as it turns out, my favorite day is Friday. It’s like the calendar knew.
How much is your virginity worth? →
(via kaliwaters) It really puts a new twist on the whole ‘Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’ analogy when the milk is actually $3.8 million.
That’s right. I haven’t created an epidemic and I am not carrying a life threatening disease. Whew.
From Jenna and Barbara to Sasha and Malia →
Yeah, so this definitely made me cry.
I have a huge guilt complex when it comes to my hair. For years I’ve been saying I am going to cut it and give it away to Locks for Love. Then, every time I go to have it cut, my hairstylist looks at me like I must be insane to want to cut my hair and I inevitably back out. Today, I have a hair appointment. When I went in last time I told Amy, my stylist, that this time I was definitely...
I learn so much from my mother.
Me: I woke up with a sore throat this morning.
My Mom: That's funny, I woke up feeling like I was getting a cold too. I was thinking about taking Zicam again, but I noticed when I was baking cookies the other day I couldn't smell them and I think that might be from putting that stuff up my nose so much.
Me: You're basically a cokehead.
My Mom: Yeah. And worst of all, is that I really prided myself on having a nose like a hound dog.
Me: I didn't know that was a point of pride with you.
My Mom: Oh yeah. You know, you get old and you lose some stuff, but I think other stuff takes it's place. Like, I've lost a lot of my eyesight, but my sense of smell was getting very keen. Like a hound dog.
Me: I see.
Confession: I judge books by their covers. I also often count my chickens before they hatch and occasionally try to fit square pegs in to round holes, but those are problems for another day. I definitely picked my most recent read out for its cover. The book, Luncheon of the Boating Party by Susan Vreeland, focuses entirely on the painting Luncheon of the Boating Party by Renoir. And so, fairly...
As I mentioned several days ago, I went to the doctor to have blood drawn last week. The purpose of that visit was so that the doc could check the blood stuff out before I came in for my general physical today. The reason for said physical was two fold: 1) Total lack of general check ups for the last decade 2) Weird chest pains and other bizarre health issues that made me certain I was going to...
CanNOT stop listening to this song →
Warning: The following post contains spoilers for Valkyrie, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Seven Pounds, and Revolutionary Road. I realize I’m probably only among like three people who have seen all of those and have therefore cut my audience down to me and Rosie (who I’ve already shared all the plots with anyway), but let’s be honest, that’s not all that different...
This morning I went to a general doctor for a check up. Considering I hadn’t done that in a little more than ten years, I thought it was due time. Also, I’ve been having chest pains lately that make me pretty sure I’m going to die of a heart attack before I reach my 27th birthday, so I figured I’d see what could be done about that. Unfortunately, when one goes to the doctor, it involves...
A Good Story
My friend Laura has a warm heart. I can’t think of another way to describe it. You can sense it within moments of meeting her. I did. She’s the type of person you trust immediately because you just know that no matter what you tell her, she’ll be kind. It was no surprise to me then when several months ago she told me a story about meeting a woman on a Marta train in Atlanta who poured her...
In the last twelve months I have interviewed celebrities, quit a job, traveled to random places around the south Pacific, jumped out of a plane, interviewed for new jobs, moved to a new city, traveled to a foreign country with no one I knew, and met about a gazillion new people. And nothing—NOTHING—in those last twelve months was half as intimidating or scary to me as going to my new gym for the...
I hate being tricked into reading a book. (Actually, I hate being tricked into anything. Most trickery in my life falls under food offenses. Don’t tell me you have Diet Coke and then give me Diet Pepsi. And definitely don’t tell me we’re going to eat soon, when we’re not.) But I digress. I don’t like being tricked into a book. Most of my history with this problem falls under books by big...
Everett called me today at work.
Everett: What’s up big stunner?
Me: Just working.
Everett: Well, guess who’s got two thumbs and is going to work at the American Embassy in Ghana for the summer?
Everett: This guy.
Me: You know, that works better if I can, say, see your two thumbs.
Everett: Well, I have two thumbs and I’m going to be working in Ghana for the summer.
Me: That’s awesome. I’ll come visit.
Everett: Ghana’s in Africa.
Me: I’m aware of that.
Everett: Well, then I’ll look forward to your visit.
My family was supposed to go on a ski trip this weekend before my brother headed back up to Maryland to hibernate for a second semester of law school. However, my dad hasn’t been feeling well so I was told to call home today at lunchtime to see if we were still on for the trip. That conversation went something like this.
Everett: (Heavy breathing)
Me: That’s weird.
Everett: What do you want player?
Me: Are we going skiing this weekend?
Everett: Hold on. Let me ask our mother.
(mumbled noises in background)
She says there is a one in ten chance we’ll think about talking about it.
Me: What does that mean?! That doesn’t mean anything!
Everett: It means there’s a one in ten chance she’ll talk about it.
Me: Seriously. That doesn’t mean anything.
Everett: Ok, there’s a one in ten chance you should talk to her about this.
Me: Yeah. I’m thinking those odds are my best bet for finding out much of anything at this point.
Life is ours to be spent, not to be saved– D. H. Lawrence I saw this on the cover of February’s Vanity Fair and liked it.
BU Prof in Frost/Nixon →
Once, a long, long time ago when I was still a youngster in grad school, this guy was my professor. What’s that? You’re surprised I took classes from someone with a history in political and investigative reporting? I can’t imagine why, considering my most recent article to be published was on the benefits of donning purple this winter. In another thirty years they’ll be...
I’m trying to read more books this year. (See: New Year’s Resolutions) I have always read a lot until 2008. I like to think of 2008 as the year of watching insane amounts of television online, reading a gazillion blogs, and perusing more online magazine articles than I care to count. And, while I do have a very passionate love affair going on between myself and my Mac, I’ve decided that I miss...
My neighborhood has a lot of charm. Especially if you consider stuff like high murder rates and gang activity charming. But, if on the off chance you don’t, it still is a highly entertaining place to live. There is a constant parade of characters to watch: There’s Ms. Curly, the 87-year-old who lives across the street from me. Without a doubt she’s in better shape than me (I have a feeling...
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot that life really is what you make it. I’m aware that this is a cliché and even in saying it I’ve upped my loser level exponentially, but it’s true. You only live once. Life is short. Time is precious. (That’s right. I could go all day with these things.) Anyway, they’re all trite, but true. So, since I obviously haven’t done the settling in the ‘burbs with the...
Last year was the first time I actually wrote down some New Year’s resolutions and made any effort whatsoever to stick to them. I didn’t complete them all. But I did a few. So, inspired by my semi-success, I wanted to do the same this year. In fact, I had big plans of posting some of them on here in some kind of “hold me accountable blog readers- I will become a scuba diving vegetarian...