My Opinion

This morning I went to the doctor. Just for the regular “please confirm that I’m still healthy” kind of stuff. When he came in to chat, he was like “Have you been feeling tired lately?” 

First of all, doctors shouldn’t say this. Because my immediate thought was, uh huh, just as I suspected, I’m dying. But also, I got all overwhelmed thinking yeah, I’ve been pretty tired lately. But I think that’s because I’m trying to live like 14 lives. Today marks my one year anniversary of starting my move to DC. Ultimately, in the last 365 days I moved four times. I “lived” in five places. I had two big jobs. And a lot of other smaller jobs. I got really sick and then sort of well and then really sick again and well again. I started one social life and then went back to another. I stopped sleeping. I don’t know why. But as it turns out, 4 a.m. isn’t as bad as I once thought. 

So, I nodded. “Yeah, I’ve been pretty tired lately.” 

He nodded slowly. Nope. I could tell. Just looking at him. He was going to tell me I was tired because of the rare, rare disease I’d likely gotten from living in close quarters with a dog that isn’t really a dog, but rather a mix of coyote and dingo. 

“Your iron is very low,” he said. “You definitely need to be taking some supplements. And, eat more red meat.”

“That’s it?” I asked. “My iron is low?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I don’t usually say this to patients. But eat a few more cheeseburgers.”

And thus concludes my tale of the best doctor’s visit of all time.